The Nature of Adolescence by Coleman John C.;

Author:Coleman, John C.;
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Taylor & Francis Group
Published: 2011-08-15T00:00:00+00:00

There are many different ways in which parents can be influential. In some circumstances parents may be the most effective sex educators, especially if they are open without being intrusive, and willing to deal with the young person’s agenda, rather than with their own. As noted above, parents can offer monitoring and supervision, assisting teenagers to delay involvement in sexual activity. Alternatively they may leave adolescents to set their own boundaries, and make their own decisions about the pace of their sexual development. In one longitudinal study carried out in Scotland (Wight et al., 2006) results were clear that in situations where parental monitoring was low there was a greater chance of early sexual behaviour in both boys and girls. Among girls low parental monitoring was also associated with multiple partners and less condom use.

Many studies have looked at the role of communication about sex between parent and adolescent, but the results are far from clear-cut. Aspy et al. (2007) report results indicating that the more parents discuss matters with young people in the family, the more likely it is that young people will delay sexual activity, or will use appropriate contraception if they do become sexually active. On the other hand Steinberg (2008) reviews a number of studies indicating that it is not so much the discussion that matters, but rather it is the attitudes and values that are communicated within the discussion that are crucial. If attitudes and values are congruent with those of the young person, then there is a greater likelihood that communication between parent and teenager will have an impact on behaviour. Solomon et al. (2002) make a nice point when they note that there are some important tensions within the concept of communication. As these authors note, while both adults and young people may subscribe to ideas of openness and honesty, in fact they come to this from opposing points of the compass. For parents, openness means having more information about what young people are doing, and thus retaining power and control in this vital area. On the other hand for young people withholding information, especially about something as important as sex, means that they gain privacy, identity and power.

The contortions that parents get themselves into when trying to discuss sex are illustrated by this young woman’s reminiscences about her mother.

‘It must have been when we were having stuff at school on it, and one day I remember I was walking along the track, and Mum says to me: “So you know how to do it now then?” So I said well I knew already, you know, because I did. Then she said: “You know properly now, and all this lot.” And I was getting really embarrassed, and I was saying yeh, like this, and I was trying to get on to a different subject. And she was saying: “So you know how to make a baby, and how to look after a baby” and all this rubbish. So I goes “Yes, Mum”, and I was trying to get off the subject all the time.

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